At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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