Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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