Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
