I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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