So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
