Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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