I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
