I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
how drunk are you?
Several
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
