Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
