my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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