I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
