he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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