Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i can't believe i had my finger in that
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
