I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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