Me. At least after what I've been through.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
