Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I am available for nakedness
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
