drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
