is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
