I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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