are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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