Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
