i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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