some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
