but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
