Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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