bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
