Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
