Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
