Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
