I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I need a beard to bite.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
