Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
