Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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