i love accidental penises.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
