I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
