nut hugger
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
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