it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
