dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
