My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
