It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
