I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
