You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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