I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
