Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
