just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
