Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
