she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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