I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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