Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
