Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
