saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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