I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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