Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
