There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
